The water fountain is an endless source of amazement. They’ve all gone swimming in it (accidentally) at one point or another.
I weighed them yesterday. Corbett (above) is the runt, at 1 1/2 pounds. The other three all weigh 1 pound 12 ounces!
Bellied up to the water bowls.
Bolitar, lookin’ for a snuggle.
Hey!
Remember yesterday when I was all GET A LOAD OF THAT BELLEH:
And y’all were all HOLY COW WHEN’S SHE GONNA DROP THOSE BABIES?!
And I was all DO YOU SEE THIS THING?! (Or at least I meant to – I forgot to post the picture, actually.)
And y’all were all HOLY MOLY YOU WEREN’T KIDDING, THAT IS ONE PREGNANT CAT! (Or you would have been had I posted it.)
Well, yesterday morning I decided that the fact that Maura had had herself a dirty behind for the last few days, and acted as though it hurt when I cleaned her off, might mean that she could have impacted anal glands. So I called the vet’s office and made an appointment and I loaded her up into the carrier, and headed for the vet.
She was completely silent all the way to the vet’s office (I am serious when I tell you that this is one laid-back cat), except for a few times when she turned around in circles trying to get comfortable, and I thought WOULDN’T IT BE FUNNY IF SHE WENT INTO LABOR RIGHT NOW, OH THAT WOULD BE HIGH-LARIOUS!
We got to the vet’s office, and I turned her over and sat down in the waiting room. The shelter manager came in while I was sitting there, and she went back to see what was going on. She asked a few questions, and then suggested I just come back so I could answer any questions the vet had. I went back, and as I walked back, the vet was feeling Maura’s abdomen.
The vet couldn’t feel any kittens. And as far along as Maura was supposed to be, she should have been able to feel kittens. She was pretty concerned that Maura might have developed Pyometra (basically, when the uterus fills up with pus), and suggested that she go ahead and spay Maura.
I agreed, and left Maura there.
All day long, I worried about Maura, of course, because I am nothing if not a worrywart. Also, I was a little sad that there would be no wee baby kittens. When the vet’s office was about to close, I picked up the phone and called to see how she was doing.
“Oh, Doc was about to call the shelter,” said Belinda, who’d answered the phone.
I steeled myself for bad news.
Turns out that our Maura, big ol’ pregnant Maura? Huge, ready to pop Maura? Maura with the great big pregnant momma cat appetite?
FAKING IT THE ENTIRE TIME.
NOT pregnant. NOT FOR ONE MOMENT PREGNANT.
NOT suffering from Pyometra. PERFECTLY FINE.
She TOTALLY played us.
She’s not pregnant. She’s just big-boned.
“Look. I never SAID I was pregnant. You just assumed. I went along with it for your sake, because I am sweet and kind and didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
I’m going to go pick her up from the vet’s office in a bit. Then I’m going to bring her home and girlfriend, who’s been living the life of Riley with the eating of the kitten food and the two snacks a day of canned food, is going on a DIET.
In a few weeks, after she’s healed from her spaying and up to date on her vaccinations, she’ll be headed off to the adoption center.
The party is over, sweet girl!
“I don’t believe I care for the sound of THAT.”
“I told you she was fakin’ it. When you gonna trust the Sheriff Mama to know what she’s talking about?”
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Previously
2009: No entry.
2008: No entry.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t help laughing out loud! Maura, you sure are a sneaky one!
Well!!!!! We certainly didn’t expect that turn of events! Better luck next time!
It’s a darn good thing you have those sweet Bookworms to satisfy your kitten needs.
Beth
Awww,that’s a shame. Although it does make all the snarky pictures of Maura admonishing you about feeling up her internal organs all that much funnier. 😉
LOL…I am just glad that they didn’t spay her just to find out that she DID have babies in there! I was fearful as I was reading! I too am sad that there won’t be any little ones, but I am also glad that everyone is healthy!
Hey, she TOLD you there were no babies in there, you just didn’t listen.
She was really serious every time she said “What babies?” Oh wow! But I thought for sure that looked like a baby belly. I’m glad that she’s not sick and now she won’t be having any babies. Sorry you’re missing out on raising a litter from the beginning. At least you have the bookworms to moon over.
OMG NO WAI!!!11 so she’s just a porker???!!! that is absolutely hilarious!!!!!
So she WAS really just gassy! 😀 But why the huge belly? It’s just fat? And you were feeding her kitten food? No wonder she was getting noticeably larger! That makes your DH mistaking organs for kittens even more hilarious!
LOL ! you know the joke about NEVER ASKING a woman when is she due as she may not be pregnant??
She looks *just* like one of the cats that adopted my parents. A teeny tiny, petite little black cat, with a belly like she swallowed a basketball. She eventually moved on and adopted the next door neighbors, and they thought for sure that she was pregnant. Nope, just incredibly round through the middle!
Ok, can I tell you that I am actually relieved to read this because I was very worried when no one was feeling any movement that there was a problem with her kittens (I also have to say I did wonder if she really was pregnant at one point too). It is too bad there will be no little ones, but I am relieved at the reason why – I really was worried but just didn’t want to say anything to possibly bring bad luck (does that make sense?) I have retyped almost every comment since she has been there because they all were “are you sure she is pregnant” and I was like “no, that sounds weird” so I would retype “are you sure the babies are ok – shouldn’t they be moving if they are ok” and I would delete that and retype again. Wow, she has turned into quite a pudge on all that kitten food though!
At least you have the super-adorable Bookworms there to satisfy any kitten cravings.
Erm… but the Bookworms are real right?!?!
🙂
Awww Maura, Maura, Maura! She is one gorgeous lovely sweet much misunderstood Maura! I’m just so glad to hear she is ok.
And Sheriff Mama – we promise from now on to bow to your wise words!
Take care
x
That is HILARIOUS. I actually laughed out loud when I read that Maura was never preggers.
Ah well, at least she spent a few weeks living the “good life”—eating all the food she could!
I was actually having some of the same thoughts as Amy this whole time, so I’m also relieved that everything’s fine!
But, you know, this means that it wasn’t hormones that made Maura so lovey with you, she’s just a very lovey cat. I hope she’ll have an easy time finding a home.
Heck, I’d come pick her up myself, if I could 🙂
So this was all a big hoax? Maura is just the Rosie Ruiz of cats? She looks so honest, too! Looks like we all got taken in…
Oh this is just too funny! Little Miss Maura, chomping down on kitten food and extra treats, and getting rounder and rounder as the days go by…poor thing is in for a shock! What? No more tasty high-calorie kitten food? No more extra treats?
As a side note, my Bailey Bear has just announced that he too is pregnant and would like extra treats and kitten food please!
She is such a typical cat! Uses you for your food, warmth and house, and convinces you that she’s pregnant! Oh Maura.
If i had room, I’d take her in a heart beat. She’s such a pretty cat.
Too bad you won’t get baby kitties, but at least you have the Bookworms to bide you over
Wow. She is one wise wise cat, having gotten herself out of a bad situation and into one of luxury.
Ummmmm… So, it really was a basketball that Maura swallowed? Good thing the vet could take it out.
Oh Maura, you are such a crafty girl! How clever to fool the lovely people into thinking you needed all of that pampering 🙂
And wow… check out the tiny kitten tongue action – sweeeet!
Well! I guess she played an April Fool’s joke on you, huh? Too funny. Reminds me of the time my Mom took a stray male cat who adopted her to the vet to be neutered, and he said he was already neutered…and it was April Fool’s Day that day. She said SHE felt like the April Fool!
Tell Maura not to feel to bad about her roundness; we have a black female cat who has quite the tummy, and people have asked if she was pregnant. She’s spayed! She just has a gut. (Sort of like every other living thing in this house….;-))
Oh dear… Maura must have been having the feast of her life! A shame there won’t be any little Shamrocks, though…. 🙁
wow she is good! I was totally fooled too. Cats are smarter than we think. My kitties have trained me to do many things for them. They are good.
Oh, that was a good one! Wily little Maura. Though I would have loved to see her imaginary offspring, we all know in our hearts that there are already enough kitties in the world.
But still..
As has been said so many times, good thing those Bookworms are as adorable as they are to satisfy our kitten cravings.
You’ll find a wonderful home, Maura! Who wouldn’t love such a clever girl?
That is just hilarious!
OMG!! I missed reading yesterday… what a stitch!!! And I’m so glad. One less litter in the world is a good thing. (OK, truth… I was looking forward to the babies but I’m still glad!)
Maura, you are one smooth operator, girl!
Well, I’m disappointed to hear that Maura is just a fatty, but glad to hear that she didn’t have a uterus full of pus, which is one of the more repulsive things I can imagine.
When the vet told you I like to imagine Maura snapped her fingers and went ‘Aw, shoot!’
Just came over from Space Paws. What a hoot! Glad Maura is fine, though, tricky little girl that she appears to be … 🙂